I was crackng myself up again today....
Some things are just funny you know?
I don't really know how I feel about this change I've been going through since working at Calvin Crest. I'm more outspoken than I was before. Last night I was talking to Keith and I actually raised my voice in public! I NEVER would have done that before. I don't know if I like being outspoken. It reminds me of who I was when I was younger. Nobody liked me back then. Well, I had my friends, but back then I was the leader of my friends. In my 'click' I was the one who made the decisions. People depended on me. I was good at it. But I was a kid, a smart kid, but a kid nonetheless.
And now, that leader mindset has shoved its way back into my head, but I haven't got anybody to lead. And my friends are suffering for it. One in particular, who just happens I'll be visiting tomorrow.
Goodness, I wish I knew what I was doing before I do it. But I've learned something new about myself. Which is only half good, since learning it produced drama in a few relationships. Drama sucks. I have some apologizing to do, I didn't mean to hurt anybody(I didn't even know what I was doing), but it's my responsibility, because it happened on account of me.
I do wish there was somebody out there I could teach. Somebody I could help.
God has appointed me to be a leader, of what or who, I don't know. But I'm gonna need a whole lot more preparation until He can really use me in that. I want to be ready for when God decides to use me. So that's what you can pray for me.
Some things are just funny you know?
I don't really know how I feel about this change I've been going through since working at Calvin Crest. I'm more outspoken than I was before. Last night I was talking to Keith and I actually raised my voice in public! I NEVER would have done that before. I don't know if I like being outspoken. It reminds me of who I was when I was younger. Nobody liked me back then. Well, I had my friends, but back then I was the leader of my friends. In my 'click' I was the one who made the decisions. People depended on me. I was good at it. But I was a kid, a smart kid, but a kid nonetheless.
And now, that leader mindset has shoved its way back into my head, but I haven't got anybody to lead. And my friends are suffering for it. One in particular, who just happens I'll be visiting tomorrow.
Goodness, I wish I knew what I was doing before I do it. But I've learned something new about myself. Which is only half good, since learning it produced drama in a few relationships. Drama sucks. I have some apologizing to do, I didn't mean to hurt anybody(I didn't even know what I was doing), but it's my responsibility, because it happened on account of me.
I do wish there was somebody out there I could teach. Somebody I could help.
God has appointed me to be a leader, of what or who, I don't know. But I'm gonna need a whole lot more preparation until He can really use me in that. I want to be ready for when God decides to use me. So that's what you can pray for me.
posted by D Jack at 1:11 PM
1 Comments:
I'm glad you're laughing so much.
It's contagious you know.
It can be scary and/or frustrating to change, but change is usually required when God begins transforming you into what He wants you to be. Change has always been really hard for you.
If God wants you to lead He'll provide you with an opportunity. Keep your eyes open and pray that He will let you see through His eyes. You've got to be ready to act. If you feel the Holy Spirit nudge - do it.
Wait and watch. He'll let you know.
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